Ask Amy: Cousin’s Husband Joined My Younger Sister’s OnlyFans Account

Dear Amy: I am asking for advice for my younger sister, “Stella”.

Like a lot of people right now, Stella uses [a social media account delivering “X-rated entertainment”] to make extra income.

Our older cousin “Candace” is married to “Ted”. They have three children. Ted is about 17 years older than Stella.

Stella discovered that Ted had subscribed to her account. She found out because he sent her a bunch of messages saying he always watched her at family functions. He called it his “dirty little secret”.

We are both very disturbed by her behavior and don’t know what she should do next.

Should Stella tell Candace? Stella told our mom in the hopes that she would have some advice and could potentially avoid any future uncomfortable family reunions.

Our mom thinks it’s possible that Candace is siding with Ted and that could make matters worse.

Stella and I both agreed that we would like to know if our significant other was doing this.

I encouraged Stella to take screenshots of her posts in case she needed proof in the future (which she did).

Stella blocked her account and notified her friends on the website so that they could block it as well. A friend noticed that he was paying for some of his content, but only for the content that included Stella.

Should my sister keep this a secret or tell our cousin what her husband is doing?

– Worried big sister

Dear Big Sis: “Ted” is a creep. More on that later. But part of your question is whether “Stella” should tell your cousin “Candace” because her husband Ted is a subscriber to Stella’s “X-rated Entertainment” account.

If Stella provides porn behind a pay wall, I guess a lot, if not most, of her clients are someone’s husband / someone else important.

I am going to do an equivalence with a medium like Penthouse magazine. If Stella is hired to pose for the Penthouse, should your cousin’s husband be “exposed” for buying her from a newsstand? No.

Your mom knows Stella’s groove, so I imagine that acceptance would outweigh any extreme family awkwardness.

However, Ted’s choice to harass Stella should NOT remain anyone’s “dirty little secret”.

Even though Ted might have thought he was engaging in some sexy, creative role play, having a parent tell him about his role in his imaginary life is… scary! Stella should respond directly to Ted, shutting him off. And, depending on how he responds, in order to deny him the pleasure of having it as his “dirty little secret,” she should feel free to reveal it.

You have to assume that Ted’s wife will be on his side. But, since his harassment is untenable, I don’t think the rest of the family should worry too much about him or his feelings.

Dear Amy: A few years ago my husband and I met a couple who would become our best friends. They have two daughters and we have one.

Their eldest, “Maggie”, is the same age as my daughter (6 years old).

Maggie is rude, disrespectful, mean and a bully.

We neglected it because we value friendship so much.

My daughter loves to play with their daughters, but I think her feelings are hurt by Maggie, even though she is too nice to say it.

I believe a comment I made recently about a rude incident caused a breakup. However, I am tired of allowing their daughter to treat us and our daughter so badly.

Parents refuse to recognize that there is a problem. I think the child needs professional help.

I would hate to see the friendship end, but I also want to set an example for my daughter, that we don’t allow people to treat us that way.

Am I ending the friendship? What should I tell them?

– Mum upset

Dear Upset: The way to communicate with these parents would be to say, “Maggie is towering over our daughter, and she doesn’t seem to know how to handle that.” I hope I haven’t gone past your home, but felt I had to intervene.

Dear Amy: “Luddite in Nebraska” complained that in-laws were texting important information (about marriage, pregnancy and birth). Luddite felt it was “in bad taste” and that a phone call was needed.

Please note that the way of delivering news and information has evolved.

I am old enough to remember that using the telephone for important news was considered “bad taste.” I had to write a letter.

– Damn it

Dear Geezer: Excellent point!

(You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy Where Facebook.)

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